You're so nebulous sometimes
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
