words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
