Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Let the clothes fall where they may.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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