she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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