You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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