I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
