I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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