After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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