so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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