Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
