Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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