I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
