You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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