so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
