Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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