Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
