If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
