oh god the rape fog is back!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
This house was built for laser tag.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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