So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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