My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
