How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
