she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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