I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
