Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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