oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize