Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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