I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
