you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
