He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
