I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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