i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Randomize
