sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
