Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
