I need help removing her.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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