yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize