I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
