I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
