I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
