I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize