i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
