Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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