Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
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