And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
