Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
