this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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