Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
