I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
