Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
