We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
