I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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