Im at strip club and am horny
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
