the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
