If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
