My friends, they love my intelligence
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
