is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
