Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
