weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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