It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
