Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
