that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
