I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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