I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
