Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
